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What Could Go Wrong?

Counselling consists of an open and honest conversation between the client and the counsellor in a safe, private, non-judgmental space. It can occur online or in-person, facilitated for individuals, couples, and groups, for children and adults. During this process, clients increase awareness and explore their emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviours to promote understanding and identify areas they want to improve. The relationship built on trust between the client and counsellor creates the conditions necessary for change and personal growth to happen.

There are various benefits to seeking counselling, but there are also some potential disadvantages. Learning about the pros and cons of counselling can help you better manage your expectations of the counselling process before your first session.

The Potential Drawbacks of Counselling

Becoming Too Involved

Because only the counsellor and the client collaborate, there remains a risk that the client can become emotionally attached to the counsellor and develop a reliance on the counsellor. Consequently, the client may become dependent on the counsellor. This results in potential problems with the client’s self-confidence, decision-making, and subsequent behaviour. A good counsellor knows when to challenge the client and when to support them.

The client may project positive and negative feelings onto their counsellor. This is called “transference”, because the feelings the client has for significant people in their life are transferred onto the counsellor. This is quite common and needs to be discussed with the counsellor as it can make the client want to stop counselling. However, understanding this transference can result in incredible progress within the counselling process.

There is also a risk of the client becoming attracted to the counsellor. A counselling relationship provides trust, empathy, emotional intimacy, and quality time spent together. Consequently, it is not unusual for some clients to develop romantic or sexual feelings for their counsellor. These feelings are typically so fleeting and mild that they do not disrupt the client’s progress. They may even promote increased disclosure. However, when this attraction is too prolonged or intense, it can distract from – and even sabotage – the counselling process as it may leave the client embarrassed or ashamed.

Clients should recognise that it is ethically impossible for the counsellor to reciprocate their feelings, but that doesn’t mean that these feelings cannot be examined with the counsellor during a session. A good counsellor will not make the client feel bad or guilty for this reaction but be open to exploring why the client feels the way they do and how the counsellor can help the client process it in a way that doesn’t harm the counselling relationship.

Having a Bad Counsellor

Conversely, the counsellor may get too personal with the client. Unfortunately, not all counsellors are created equal. Some counsellors are unqualified, incompetent, inexperienced, or have a bad attitude. The counsellor may share personal information, talk incessantly about themselves, and place the focus on themselves instead of the client. The counsellor may be unable to accept and react appropriately to constructive criticism or refuse to disclose necessary information about the counselling process and not manage the client’s expectations accordingly. Additionally, a counsellor can become judgmental or lose focus, treat clients as inferior, or be unable to regulate their emotions in reaction to what a client discloses. A counsellor can also flirt, make unseemly comments about a client’s body, touch a client inappropriately, or fixate on the client’s love life in ways that don’t relate to the client’s primary concerns.

Furthermore, the counsellor can become emotionally triggered and traumatised by the client’s sharing of their experiences. This is known as vicarious trauma. Counsellors are trained to seek professional consultation, supervision, counselling, or therapy when they recognise worrying reactions in themselves.

Skilled counsellors rely on years of education and training. They are ethical professionals who undergo regular supervision. They are aware of the need for healthy boundaries between themselves and their clients and know how to set and maintain the boundaries required for a functional counselling relationship. The client should feel comfortable discussing and negotiating these boundaries with the counsellor. It’s a major red flag if you cannot be open and honest with your counsellor or don’t trust your counsellor to respond respectfully to your concerns. Finding the right counsellor is essential in determining whether your counselling journey will succeed or fail.

The Cost of Counselling

Because counselling is usually a longer-term process, it can be quite expensive as the cost adds up over time. Some counsellors are more flexible in the fees they charge than others and may even offer discounts. If you are experiencing financial difficulties, discuss this with your counsellor, and you might be able to reach an agreement that is beneficial to both of you. You have nothing to lose by trying.

The Time Commitment

For a client who works eight-hour days, five days a week, it can be challenging to find the time to attend frequent counselling sessions. Some counsellors do work in the evenings and on weekends. Discuss your availability with your counsellor and work together to plan how frequently you can see them while still committing to the counselling process.

Facing Uncomfortable Emotions and Memories

This is arguably the biggest drawback to counselling aside from the cost. Opening up about your struggles and putting them out into the world can be an incredibly freeing experience, resulting in immediate relief. However, it can also bring forth suppressed pain, fears, and emotions that may overwhelm and confuse you. It is not uncommon for counselling to make you feel a lot worse before you start to feel better. This is an inevitable part of the counselling process and signifies a step in the right direction. Unfortunately, not every client may be in a place in their lives where they can handle it. A good counsellor supports their client through this and provides them with the necessary feasible coping strategies.

Conclusion

As the client, you are the only one who can determine whether counselling is the best course of action for dealing with your issues. Attending a counselling session is a great opportunity to help you decide if you’re unsure. Meet with a counsellor, experience opening up about your challenges, and learn new coping techniques. Just remember to keep looking for another counsellor if the first one isn’t the right fit!

Even the best counsellors aren’t perfect and effective counselling isn’t always easy or comfortable. However, counselling can still help you deal with your mental health or wellness challenges before they become severe and debilitating. Ultimately, prevention is better than cure. Counselling works – now make it work for you!

Interested in Receiving Counselling?

Send an email to thebloomingpractice@gmail.com or a WhatsApp message to +27 71 342 9810 to make an appointment with me or ask any questions.

I will respond in between seeing clients during the following South African business hours (GMT +2):

• Monday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
• Tuesday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
• Wednesday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
• Thursday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
• Friday: Closed
• Saturday: Closed
• Sunday: 09h00 – 13h30

In case of an emergency, go to your nearest police station or to the emergency room of your nearest hospital.

Excited to hear from you!