Counselling Creates Change
Counselling is a professional, supportive process in which a trained counsellor helps an individual explore and understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours to improve their well-being, make decisions, or cope with challenges. Most of the time, counselling takes the form of a conversation between the client and counsellor.
Counselling can be perceived as both an art and a science, resulting in changes in a client’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviour. It can help treat issues and symptoms related to mental health and wellness. The purpose of counselling is to identify the causes of the client’s emotional distress and provide them with better coping strategies. Counselling aims to aid clients in understanding their feelings while equipping them with the knowledge, insight, tools, and strategies necessary to face present and future challenges.
Counselling falls under the umbrella term of “talking therapies”. It is a process that enables individuals, couples, and groups (like families) to discuss their issues and any difficult feelings they are experiencing in a safe, confidential space with a counsellor. The client learns more about their specific challenges and how their behaviours, emotions, feelings, and thoughts impact their mood and well-being. Counselling assists the client in gaining healthy coping skills for responding to challenging situations, thereby enabling them to take back control of their life.
People seek counselling to explore their emotions, thoughts, feelings, and behaviour in more depth, or change something about themselves or their lives. When successful, counselling can change how a client thinks, feels, and behaves concerning a disturbing experience or distressing situation.
Key Aspects of Counselling
- Confidential: Sessions are private and built on trust.
- Client-focused: The counsellor supports the client’s own growth, without judgment.
- Goal-oriented: It can help with specific problems (like anxiety, relationship issues, or grief) or broader personal development.
- Non-directive (often): Counsellors typically don’t give direct advice but empower clients to find their own solutions.
Common Types of Counselling:
- Individual counselling: One-on-one support.
- Couples counselling: For relationship issues. Also called relationship/marriage/pre-marital counselling.
- Group counselling: To improve group dynamics. Often used with families.
What Counselling is NOT
- Counselling is NOT a quick fix – it’s a process.
- Counselling is NOT about giving and receiving advice, but the setting and achievement of short- and long-term goals.
- Counselling is NOT about fixing the client or their situation, but about the facilitation of the next step in learning, growth, and healing.
- Counselling is NOT about making the client feel better, but about helping them be better through fostering their strengths – which will eventually result in them feeling better.
- Counselling is NOT about being judgmental, but rather meeting the client where they are at with unconditional positive regard.
- Counselling is NOT about pushing the counsellor’s values and encouraging the client to behave as the counsellor would in their own life, but instead it is working from within the client’s frame of reference to find a solution that honours the client’s being.
- Counselling is NOT about an emotional attachment between the counsellor and client, but fostering a professional relationship with healthy boundaries that promote objectivity.
- Counselling is NOT psychotherapy!
Counselling Versus Psychotherapy
The terms “counselling” and “psychotherapy” are often used interchangeably and can overlap, but there are significant differences. Different levels of education, training, experience, and licensing are required to be competent in delivering counselling or psychotherapy.
| COUNSELLING | PSYCHOTHERAPY |
| Short-term intervention for processing and coping with adjustment crises. | Longer-term intervention for the diagnosis and treatment of mental health conditions. |
| Helps with specific life challenges. Focuses on present problems (e.g. stress, grief, relationship issues), coping strategies, personal growth and support. | Explores the psychological roots of emotional difficulties. Focuses on past experiences and unconscious processes, personality and behavioural patterns. |
| Deals with present issues and emphasises the client’s emotional and intellectual experience. | Aids the client in processing significant difficulties arising from their psychological history that require them to return to earlier experiences. |
| Registered counsellors (HPCSA), wellness counsellors (ASCHP), pastoral counsellors, school counsellors, HIV/Aids counsellors, etc. | Psychotherapists, clinical psychologists and counselling psychologists (HPCSA). |
Not every client who benefits from counselling is diagnosed with a mental health condition. Counselling can aid in dealing with the stresses and conflicts of everyday life that can influence anyone.
While psychologists and psychiatrists deal directly with diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, wellness counsellors (like myself) support clients in this process by helping them adjust to a diagnosis, psycho-educating them on what the diagnosis means for them and their everyday life, exploring ways for them to cope with it, and monitor their mental health and well-being in case they need to be referred again for emergency intervention by a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Counselling Within the South African Context
In South Africa, Registered Counsellors are registered and regulated by the Health Professions Council of South Africa (HPCSA), while Wellness Counsellors (such as Specialist Wellness Counsellors, like myself) are registered and regulated by the Association for Supportive Counsellors and Holistic Practitioners (ASCHP). Alternatively, there is also the Council for Counsellors.
The exact beginning of the counseling profession is unknown, but its roots may be found in a range of helping relationships that have spanned cultures and societies throughout the ages.
Schmidt, J. (2008). History of school counseling. In H. L. K. Coleman & C. Yeh (Eds.), Handbook of school counseling (pp. 3–13). Routledge.
The Effect of Counselling
Counselling may not cure a client’s mental health condition or make an unpleasant situation go away, but it can give clients the power to cope in a healthy way, help them feel better about themselves, and adopt a more positive outlook on life.
For clients to experience positive results, they will need to comprehend and embrace the need for change, be willing to follow the intervention the counsellor recommends, and offer regular feedback on said intervention to the counsellor. They need to have a desire to participate and actively engage in the counselling process. Additionally, clients need to attend appointments and complete any homework assigned between sessions. They also need to be honest and open with their counsellor.
Counselling can help clients by providing them with the space to explore their issues in confidentiality. It can also enable clients to see things in a new light. Finally, counselling can help clients move toward a solution.
Clients can learn more about themselves, their goals and values. They can identify the causes of tension in relationships and develop skills for facing problems. They can overcome specific issues and set boundaries.
The effectiveness of the counselling process also depends on the client’s reason for seeking counselling, the counsellor’s skills, the relationship between the counsellor and the client, and the support a client has outside of the counselling sessions.
The Risks of Counselling
Typically, counselling involves little risk. However, clients may sometimes feel emotionally uncomfortable, because it can bring up painful feelings and explore disturbing experiences. A skilled counsellor who can meet their clients’ needs can help minimise these risks. Learning coping skills can help clients manage and deal with negative feelings and fears.
During counselling, individuals may experience unexpected changes. For example, recalling past events may trigger unwanted emotions that can be integral to the counselling process, but may be challenging. But with a skilled counsellor, these challenges are managed safely.
It can also take some time for the counselling process to work and be effective. Progress is often slow and non-linear.
Counselling Helps
Counselling can help clients:
- Resolve conflicts with a romantic partner, friend, colleague, or family member.
- Alleviate stress, worry, and feelings of anxiousness from work, school, or other situations.
- Cope with major life changes, for example, losing a job, a loved one, or a marriage.
- Learn to regulate unhealthy reactions, for example, aggressive behaviour.
- Accept an ongoing or serious health issue, for example, cancer, diabetes, or chronic pain.
- Heal from physical, verbal, or sexual abuse, or witnessing a crime or violence.
- Deal with sexual problems or sexual identity problems.
Understanding why people suffer, how they change, and how to help them live more satisfying and gratifying lives is a fascinating, huge, and important undertaking.
Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2015). Counseling and psychotherapy theories in context and practice: Skills, strategies, and techniques (2nd ed.). Wiley.
The Role of the Counsellor
Counsellors are trained in dealing with various situations and supporting people in resolving physical, emotional, and mental health problems, aiding them in dealing with crises, lessening their distress, and improving their well-being.
A counsellor will challenge clients to identify and acknowledge unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour and aid them in seeing difficulties more clearly from a different point of view. This is achieved by creating a warm, empathic, genuine, and non-judgmental environment with safety, trust, and confidentiality wherein clients can work through their issues. The counsellor uses a framework of psychotherapeutic intervention models within which to explore emotions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviour.
Clients may be experiencing painful and challenging events in their lives, for example, loss, feelings of worry and nervousness, abuse, trauma, relationship issues, and personal problem-solving. Clients may also have more general underlying upsetting feelings of dissatisfaction with their lives. Some clients may feel isolated, having no one else to confide in. Others may have supportive partners, friends, and family, but still find it hard to talk to these loved ones about their difficulties, and, therefore, find it easier to share their concerns with an impartial professional.
Consequently, counsellors help clients explore these thoughts and feelings, while facilitating insight and growth to support clients in developing strategies for change.
A counsellor does not direct the client’s life but instead walks alongside them.
In my early professional years I was asking the question, How can I treat, or cure, or change this person?
Rogers, C. R. (1995b). On becoming a person: A therapist’s view of psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin. (Original work published 1961)
Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?
What to Expect From Counselling
The First Counselling Session
At the first counselling session, the counsellor generally collects information about the client and their needs. The client may be asked to fill out forms about their physical and psychological health. It can take a few sessions for the counsellor to fully comprehend the client’s situation and concerns, and design an intervention.
The first counselling session is also a chance for the client to interview their counsellor. The client will be able to see whether a counsellor’s approach and personality are the right fit for them. The client should make sure to understand the goals for the counselling process, how long each session will be, how many counselling sessions the client will need, and what type of intervention will be used.
The client can ask questions at any time during the appointment. If the client doesn’t feel comfortable with the first counsellor they meet, they should try seeing someone else. Finding the right counsellor is essential for an effective learning, healing, and growth.
The Counselling Sessions
Most clients meet their counsellor weekly, every other week, or monthly for 45 minutes to one hour. These sessions could be held in the counsellor’s office, or through video conferencing software.
Counselling Formats
Counselling formats include individual, couple, family, or group sessions that can be effective for all age groups.
During Counselling
During counselling sessions, the counsellor will encourage the client to talk about the thoughts, feelings, and emotions causing them distress. It can be hard for the client to open up about their feelings, but in time the counsellor can help the client feel more confident and comfortable.
The counsellor will encourage the client to open up and share what bothers them to discover any root causes and identify specific thought patterns. Then, the counsellor will design a plan of intervention tailored specifically to that client’s needs to help them reconcile their issues and learn more helpful coping strategies.
Sometimes counselling involves intense emotional discussions. Therefore, the client may find themselves crying, becoming upset, or even having an angry outburst during a counselling session. The client may also feel physically and emotionally exhausted after an appointment. The counsellor can help the client process these emotions and feelings.
After a counselling session, the counsellor may ask the client to complete specific activities or practice what they learned. Over time, discussing their concerns can help improve the client’s mood and alter the way they think and feel about themselves. It can also improve the client’s ability to cope with issues.
Confidentiality
Conversations between the counsellor and client are confidential – with a few exceptions:
- If the counsellor has good reason to believe that abuse or neglect of a child or vulnerable adult is taking place.
- If the counsellor believes that the client or someone else is in imminent danger of harming themselves.
- If the counsellor has good reason to believe that the client or someone else will harm another person.
- If the client’s records are subpoenaed by court order, the counsellor may be required to disclose confidential information.
- For supervisory purposes.
Your counsellor can answer questions about confidentiality.
Rather than particular techniques, the far greater predictors of positive outcomes are therapeutic relationships, or counsellor qualities in therapeutic relationships that capitalize on clients’ internal strengths.
Cochran, J. L., & Cochran, N. H. (2015). The heart of counseling: Counseling skills through therapeutic relationships (2nd ed.). Routledge.
Need More Help?
Depending on your situation, counselling alone may not be enough to ease the symptoms of a mental health condition or the distress caused by an adjustment crisis. The client may also need medicine or other treatments from another mental health professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. In cases such as this, the counsellor may refer the client for additional help.
Conclusion
Counselling enables people to identify aspects of their lives they desire to change, set personal goals, and work toward them. The counsellor facilitates a process whereby the client can activate their own inner resources to make positive life choices.
So I have learned to ask myself, can I hear the sounds and sense the shape of this other person’s inner world?
Rogers, C. R. (1995a). A way of being. Houghton Mifflin. (Original work published 1980)
Can I resonate to what he is saying so deeply that I sense the meanings he is afraid of yet would like to communicate, as well as those he knows?
Interested in Receiving Counselling?
Send an email to thebloomingpractice@gmail.com or a WhatsApp message to +27 71 342 9810 to make an appointment with me or ask any questions.
I will respond in between seeing clients during the following South African business hours (GMT +2):
- Monday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
- Tuesday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
- Wednesday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
- Thursday: 08h30 – 19h00 (excluding 10h30 to 13h00)
- Friday: Closed
- Saturday: Closed
- Sunday: 09h00 – 13h30
In case of an emergency, go to your nearest police station or to the emergency room of your nearest hospital.
Excited to hear from you!
The Blooming Practice 
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